I’m a Faint-Hearted Girl

1826466kartika780x390I’m with my brother and his girlfriend at the hospital right now. He was doing the Tonsillectomy. This was my first time staying at the hospital accompanied someone for surgery. What an experience!

There was the moment where he threw up in blood. I thought I was a hardcore person! But, unfortunately I am a faint-hearted. When I saw my brother threw up in blood, I almost passed out. Everything went dark. I felt so paralyzed. Oh no! But then I understand myself better. I cannot stand on blood :)

Time is Ticking

Infinity-Time1“Time is like a river. You cannot touch the same water twice, because the flow that has passed will never pass again. Enjoy every moment in life.”

While I was processing administration at the hospital, I met a woman lying weak in the bed. So skinny that her eyes popped out of the head. She asked me: “kid, how old are you“. Further, she said “you know, I was beautiful as you when I was 28. Look at me now, lying weak at the hospital. Time is a mystery. It’s gone in a blink of an eye. Whatever you do, you have to remember, our body has expiration date. Take care of your health, thus it wouldn’t be so painful when you have to depart

Before the woman said something like that, I already knew, that my time wouldn’t be too long. We will never know when. Time is ticking. That’s why I’m getting crazy on experiencing things. Haha..! Whatever :)

Who’s the Boss

Rainbow_"show_this_unicorn_who's_boss"_S1E06Few months ago, I got a youtube link from a friend, which title was ‘Like a Boss’. It was a clip from rainbow unicorn (see picture above) and it was so funny. I didn’t really understand about the meaning until something happened to me few weeks ago.

Long story short, I argued with my boss. I know, it is pointless to argue with him. He is the BOSS anyway. Oh, and perhaps I have to mention that old Indonesian era demand for “RESPECT” a LOT. That is what me, as Indonesian new era don’t really agree or like. Parents and society taught me to be independent and yes I argue a LOT with parents. When they say something that is not logically accepted, I would not do what they say. I tend to be breaking laws and rules. I will tell you later how cultural and religions in this country somehow imprison young generation for creative ideas. Continue reading

Home Is Where The Heart Is

53925-Home-Is-Where-The-Heart-IsThey say home is where the heart is. Maybe its true

I’ve been living in Jakarta for 4 years. During the 4 years, I’ve been changing places for about 7 times. Including when I stayed with relatives. I relatively change houses every one year because of a crazy landlady, bad kitchen, bad air ventilation, no boys allowed, and so on.

For the past 2.5 years, I stayed in an old house with a nice helper. She is like a family to me. When I was sick, she took a good care of me, cleaned my room, made me hot tea and meals, it was nice to have her in the house. Until finally, when I was away from Jakarta, the house was about to be sold. Continue reading



What a wonderful Friday. I called in sick this morning. Yes, literally I am MENTALLY sick!

Anyway, today I woke up early, thinking about some random things I did last night. I met random person, in a random place, did such a random activity I never did to a stranger. How did I feel about it? Hm, satisfied!! It was good spontaneously doing things you never did before. I broke all those cultural and judgmental boundary I (sometimes) created for myself. Huff how awful. Life is hard, DONT JUDGE! Ugh, who am I to judge? Who are you to judge? Continue reading

One Week After New Year

One week after new year. I feel like I have no burden in my life. I feel really numb. I didnt take drugs anymore, but I dont know why I just feel sadness is only temporary, and so is happiness. So, why bothers?

1. Work seems easy (even though it is actually killing me with deadline and ‘interesting’ people). But, I dont mind. I’m tired of course. But I believe that hard work pays off. Which means, I dont mind to spend hours to finish this interesting assignment because I like doing this and I would get so much knowledge. The best part is that, I work or I do this for myself/ for my own good in the future, not for the client or the company I’m working for.

09106988239a6ea795d3c19df78e62da Continue reading

Emotional Loss After Coffee

The first day of the year. Today when I was waiting for my flight to Jakarta, I had a sip of coffee at a restaurant near the airport, which turned out I had a MAGIC COFFEE. Well, I had my drawing book on my left side and a notebook on my lap. I started to think, how time moved fast. So, what I had in my mind was, how great my 2014 was. I had everything in life supposed to experience. The year 2014 had been a learning point.


I was like in a light drug. It was such an intense repeated memory that everything happened to me in a year was right there in front of me. I wondered if the waiter put something in my coffee (?) Continue reading