The Greatest Bastard


I should not do this, but for the past few days I keep thinking about my ex. I know, new love is the best remedy and I should not even think or care how his life now. I should really delete all his messages that is now still on my Facebook. I thought I’ve moved on. Well, I am. I met new people, but his shadow is somewhat messing around me. Ugh! His shadow is poisonous for my heart and my thoughts, I know it! Damn it, he was truly the greatest bastard that ever came to my life.

How Do You Question Everything?

“Don’t just teach your children to read. Teach them to question what they read. Teach them to question everything” – George Carlin

Few days ago I went to the gym for Body Balance class. It was early before the class started, so I decided to exercise a little bit with fitness equipments. Until, there were 2 personal trainers came to me saying “Sorry Miss, you cannot be in this area without shoes”. I asked them why, and he said “This is the rule, we don’t know why”. My blood was going up and I was like… OMG, what kind of dumb ass in front of me now (?)
You know, when you forbid someone of doing something, there should be explanations. We could use our logic. Ok, so my logical explanation was because for my own safety so I couldn’t be inside of the workout area without shoes. But their answer with “…we don’t know why” is somehow unaccepted for me. We could see that those personal trainers are lazy to work on their brain to explain me things, or maybe they don’t know the explanation. OK, so leave those stupid trainers alone. I always questions myself a lot, why I should do this, why I should not do that and so on. Call me stupid or naive whatever, but I am very keen on asking questions to people to see what is their point of view on the issues I asked them. The answer “I don’t know never satisfy me”. Somehow questioning about everything is tiring but you will realize what is best for you, not because the society or religions or parents told you, but because you have a common sense or inner wisdom or knowledge based on your experience. Continue reading

I’m a Faint-Hearted Girl

1826466kartika780x390I’m with my brother and his girlfriend at the hospital right now. He was doing the Tonsillectomy. This was my first time staying at the hospital accompanied someone for surgery. What an experience!

There was the moment where he threw up in blood. I thought I was a hardcore person! But, unfortunately I am a faint-hearted. When I saw my brother threw up in blood, I almost passed out. Everything went dark. I felt so paralyzed. Oh no! But then I understand myself better. I cannot stand on blood :)

Time is Ticking

Infinity-Time1“Time is like a river. You cannot touch the same water twice, because the flow that has passed will never pass again. Enjoy every moment in life.”

While I was processing administration at the hospital, I met a woman lying weak in the bed. So skinny that her eyes popped out of the head. She asked me: “kid, how old are you“. Further, she said “you know, I was beautiful as you when I was 28. Look at me now, lying weak at the hospital. Time is a mystery. It’s gone in a blink of an eye. Whatever you do, you have to remember, our body has expiration date. Take care of your health, thus it wouldn’t be so painful when you have to depart

Before the woman said something like that, I already knew, that my time wouldn’t be too long. We will never know when. Time is ticking. That’s why I’m getting crazy on experiencing things. Haha..! Whatever :)

Who’s the Boss

Rainbow_"show_this_unicorn_who's_boss"_S1E06Few months ago, I got a youtube link from a friend, which title was ‘Like a Boss’. It was a clip from rainbow unicorn (see picture above) and it was so funny. I didn’t really understand about the meaning until something happened to me few weeks ago.

Long story short, I argued with my boss. I know, it is pointless to argue with him. He is the BOSS anyway. Oh, and perhaps I have to mention that old Indonesian era demand for “RESPECT” a LOT. That is what me, as Indonesian new era don’t really agree or like. Parents and society taught me to be independent and yes I argue a LOT with parents. When they say something that is not logically accepted, I would not do what they say. I tend to be breaking laws and rules. I will tell you later how cultural and religions in this country somehow imprison young generation for creative ideas. Continue reading

Home Is Where The Heart Is

53925-Home-Is-Where-The-Heart-IsThey say home is where the heart is. Maybe its true

I’ve been living in Jakarta for 4 years. During the 4 years, I’ve been changing places for about 7 times. Including when I stayed with relatives. I relatively change houses every one year because of a crazy landlady, bad kitchen, bad air ventilation, no boys allowed, and so on.

For the past 2.5 years, I stayed in an old house with a nice helper. She is like a family to me. When I was sick, she took a good care of me, cleaned my room, made me hot tea and meals, it was nice to have her in the house. Until finally, when I was away from Jakarta, the house was about to be sold. Continue reading



What a wonderful Friday. I called in sick this morning. Yes, literally I am MENTALLY sick!

Anyway, today I woke up early, thinking about some random things I did last night. I met random person, in a random place, did such a random activity I never did to a stranger. How did I feel about it? Hm, satisfied!! It was good spontaneously doing things you never did before. I broke all those cultural and judgmental boundary I (sometimes) created for myself. Huff how awful. Life is hard, DONT JUDGE! Ugh, who am I to judge? Who are you to judge? Continue reading