A Date With An Atheist

I kissed a boy,
Who’s neck was bare from faith.
Empty all around.
His lips tasted like sin ,
But his touch felt like nearby repenting.
I wonder what his mother would have thought.
I wonder if those knowledgeable creases placed on his neck mean more to me than it does to him

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I kissed a girl wearing a cross around her neck
Her lips didn’t taste like church
But her hips felt like god
I wonder what Her pastor would have thought 
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Screw the flu!

Once upon a time there was a weak lady lying on the bed because of the flu. She’s got that wet nose, dizzy head, sore throat, and bad fever. The lady was me.

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Yesterday I was feeling horrible. However, if it is not ultra urgent that I couldn’t breathe, I dont like visiting a doctor. This morning I totally passed out, staying in bed. I planned to work a little bit, but work would never get done, no? There would always be another task and another task. So, I tried to take it easy today. Continue reading

Compassion

It is okay to live a life others don’t understand.
You are under no obligation to make sense to anyone.

If you want to travel, travel.
If you want to quit your job, quit your job.
If you want to get divorced, get divorced.
If you want to sing out loud, sing out loud.
If you want to make more love, make more love.
If you want to love yourself more, love yourself more.
If you want to jump around the supermarket, jump around.

If you want to ride a butterfly, then just ride that butterfly..

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Mend the broken brain (heart)

Few days ago I met a colleague in an event, it had been months we didn’t see each other. We used to talk and discuss about anything, from our passions for the ocean until little animal we see in the street. So, we talked about things and he said “hey D, what happen with those eyes, you used to have bright beautiful eyes, today I see you and I see sadness even in your smile“. Ugh, when he said that I felt like I wanted to burst in tears. No. I didn’t cry in front of him.

During the event I was keep thinking: if it is real, if people could really see the change in my eyes and even in my smile? Where is the fun child in me, where does she go? I contemplate and see the time series of event that shaped me into this sad lady.

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I start my life slow this year. I just want to fix small broken parts somewhere in my brain or in my heart. I always believe that time will heal, also I believe when I could fix the broken parts, my life will be normal. Sadly, it didn’t happen. I pull myself from social events. I tend to spend some time alone. I didn’t see friends, I didn’t go out, and the worst part I don’t know what I want to do. I become cold and sad and this is not me. A good friend of mine said “The way to heal your problems is not by shutting or isolating yourself. You need to talk about it“.  Continue reading

A Good Day to Suicide

I decided to suicide after a wedding day. No. It was not my wedding. It was friend’s wedding. It was a bright and sunny day. I put a nice red flowery top with purple skirt and wearing my super high heels and feeling so good about myself. I went to the wedding party with someone I date few months ago.

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We dance, we drink, we had some fun, we had a good time. But, there was something bothering me. “This is not right” I said to myself. Everything should not be perfect. When everything go as I expected, I become worry. What other mess could come up? Continue reading

The Knight and The Princess

A Knight fell in love with a young Princess who lives in the land of the fairies. But one day the Princess returned to her home in the sky. The Knight was startled. He knew how to ride a horse and how to fight with his sword, but he didn’t know how to fly.

The Knight left his castle and asked the butterflies to teach him to fly. But the butterflies could only teach him to fly to the top of the trees. So, the Knight asked the sparrows to teach him to fly. They could only teach him to fly to the top of the church steeple. So he asked the eagles to teach him to fly. They could only take him to the top of the mountains. There was no winged creature that could teach him to fly any higher than that.

The Knight was sad, but he didn’t gave up. He asked the wind to teach him to fly. The wind taught him to fly around the world, to fly over the mountains and above the clouds. But the Princess was still much higher in the sky. The Knight despaired and this time he did give up hope. Continue reading