Sometimes I find another world
Inside my mind
When I realize
All the crazy thing we do
It makes me feel ashamed to be alive
I wanna run away and hide
It’s all about the money
It’s all about the dum dum dum..
And I don’t think it’s funny
To see us fade away
It’s all about the money
Remember this song? It was sung by Meja. What does money mean to you? How important is it? We all know that money is indeed important. It’s a tool for trading stuffs. But does money really make you happy? I am going to tell you series of events on how money affects my life in which it changed my perspective on it.
When I was a kid, I lived in a humble life (by force). I lived with my grandmother in a very small house which was occupied by three families. I played with used boxes and dull plush toys from my cousins. No, I didn’t own plush toys or barbie dolls just like other kids. It was impossible for me to ask for new toys because there was not enough room for us and absolutely not enough room for keeping toys. At that moment, I wished that someday I could earn a lot of cash and buy all things the world could offer.
When I was a teenager, I was surrounded by the have at school. They had private cars and escorted by personal body guard and driver. Some of them were a nice person but some of them were not. They showed up for what they had and spoke badly to other persons. Oddly, they had a lot of friends. In fact, some of my friends seek for their attention by flattering them. Maybe, they wished they could taste a little bit of heaven beside them. At that moment, I could see that with money, you just could not only buy plush toys but you could buy friends (not friendship of course).
When I was 23, I made a promise to myself. Before I turned into 25, I would be able to wear a T-shirt written on it “young, rich and single”. Snob! I know. I would not wear that kind of thing of course. But, it was the moment where I had to make a lot of money and if I could I would pile them up.
At the age of 25, it was like a dream came true. Yes, I piled them up. I bought things that I could not afford when I was a kid, I drunk, I ate at the best restaurant in town, I traveled anywhere I wanted to go and I could afford courses I wanted to join. Turned out, I became like what was written on T-shirt I wanted to wear “young, rich, single (and snob!)” I wondered, I had everything I wanted but something was missing. There was like a hole inside my heart. I was away from family and from everyone I cared the most.
I looked at myself in the mirror and I didn’t recognize the person in front of me. And I realized, I was not rich. I was poor. I was so poor and therefore I piled a lot of money. I lose myself. I was not aware with surroundings. I only care about myself. I was selfish. I know and I’m aware of it.
I recalled what my parents taught me to stay humble (by choice), to keep in mind that there are still a lot of people out there currently struggling to have better life like I was before. With all that experiences, I changed my perspective about money and happiness.
Money satisfies me. It gives me nice clothes, it fills my tummy with good food and it buys me tickets to travel. However, it doesn’t give me happiness. It’s a state of mind that brings you happiness.
The more I want things, the more unhappiness I get. So, I let them go. I let go of my wanting, I let go the feeling how I was treated as a poor kid. I let go of all attachment. I don’t even care if someone would not be my friend because they think I could not give them any advantages. I don’t care anymore with people’s judgment.
A friend of mine was once asked me, “What do you want in life, D? And what do work mean to you?”
I don’t want anything the world could offer. I’m satisfied with what I have right now. I enjoy my life which means, I enjoy what life has given. I count my blessings. I still need money of course. But this is not my first priority or the reason why I’m working. I work for fun and to help people. My work is my play ground and I’m happy doing it.
After all, money is a fortune; it’s a blessing from God. Therefore, God, universe or whatever you named it could take it away in an instance. Maybe for you, money does really bring you happiness and don’t agree with my writing it’s fine. It’s your point of view and would not blame it. But, in my case, in my experience, it doesn’t bring me happiness..
ps: all pictures above were copied while i was browsing on Google.com