Self Acceptance

Have you accepted yourself the way you are? Without thinking what people might say about you? Well, I have. I have accepted myself the way I am. I love myself more than I love myself back than few years ago.

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1. I accept that I cannot say the letter “R”

This might not be a problem for you, but here, in Indonesia, it’s an embarrassment if you cannot say the letter “R”. You are labeled as someone who has tongue dysfunctional and therefore you are allowed to be mocked. Someone who notices about your “dysfunctional” will be laughing hard about your “R” word and he/ she will ask you to say some words which contains many “R” letters.

Well, I was sad to be labeled like this and I asked my parents how couldn’t I be able to say “R”. Honestly, I was depressed when my friends mocked me because of it. Finally, I realized that I cannot say this word. No one could change this fact. In fact, I’m good at speaking English and French. It’s a blessing in disguise.

2. I accept that I was born in a middle class family

I was born in a middle class family. We were not a rich family but we were not poor either. My parents had money to send us to school, for food, daily needs and health. But, we need to save more for traveling. When I was in elementary and junior high school I had limited friends because some of my friends love being around with the “have” society.

My parents advised me that I should pick friends based on their personality and never make friends with people that loved to use someone for advantage. Of course I still follow this advice. I have no idea how people are trying hard to fit in a luxury community which they have to spend some money for things they cannot afford.

3. I accept that I love makeup and fragrances

Yes I love and love makeup and fragrances. They are truly my guilty pleasures. I didn’t put most makeup on my face. I just love the colors especially when it comes to lipsticks or eye shadows! One day my cousin complained me, she said “You don’t need to put lipstick and you also don’t need to wear perfume when you’re here”. Oh dear, it was a brown lipsticks and it was not too much and moreover it was the lightest perfume I wore. Ah, who cares tho? I still love wearing light makeup and perfume. I love to look good and feel good.

4. I accept that I love food

I’m going to say it out loud: I LOVE FOOD. I love any food whether it’s a traditional or international cuisine. I have no problem about it, but some friends are worried especially when it comes to late dinner. They say that I would get some weight, I would not look good, I would have fat belly and so on. Hey, it’s my body and I know it well. I’m not greedy about food but I have extra space for them and I don’t get fat. Fellas, I concern about my health, but don’t worry about my body, it is still in the right shape.

5. I accept that I have brown skin tone

When I was in junior high school, most of my friends had fair complexion (because most of them were Chinese). One day they spoke to me, “How could you have such a very dark skin? Dark skin looks like slaves”. Hell yeah, a 14yr old little girl talked to the same age little girl which had been underestimated because she had dark complexion.

It is not right to mock someone because of their appearance, because of their slanted eyes or their skin tones. I used to put skin whitening to my body. OMG! When I grow up and afford for a dermatologist, I understand that the most important thing is not trying to make your skin looks white, however make it healthy and clean. I don’t care about what people say anymore about my skin. I take a good care of it very well. I use good products for my skin which are cruelty free and organic. Moreover, I didn’t use whitening product anymore. I love my skin tone. Brown complexion is exotic and sexy.

6. I accept that I have thick legs and wide hip

When I walked with my friends while I was wearing skirt, she said “Oh, Dee, you have thick legs, I think you walked too much” or she might say “Oh, Dee, now your hip looks wider, you should skip dinner and you should eat less”.

Oh dear, I’m tired of it. Yes, I have thick legs because I’m very fond of walking and yes I would still wear those skirts because I love it. I don’t care if you see me that I have thick legs and disturbed your eyes, my legs are mine and I love them. It is because of those thick legs I could walk for hours and keep my weight constant. Additionally, I have wide hip since I was born and I don’t mind of having it.

7. I accept to be labeled as “poor girl”

When I made a first step in front of my office’s door, the first question asked by one of my colleagues was, “Dee, what bank issued your credit card? How much is the limit?” and I replied it confusedly “I don’t have any credit cards”. The next day, some colleagues were invited to hang out in a luxury place and I was not invited. Do you know what that person said? She said, “Well, I don’t have the urge to ask you to go out with us because I’m sure you would not afford it

Oh, excuse me? Should I apply a credit card with a certain limit to impress you and then you got me stamped “Passed! This girl is rich!” HELL NO! I don’t need to bind myself in a vicious circle. I’m not embarrassed if you labeled me that I could not afford some expensive stuff because it is the truth. I would be embarrassed if someone discovered that I pretend to act like a rich girl while I’m not and being trapped in a debt, just like you.

8. I accept the truth that I love animals and give attention to their welfare

I love animals, any animals. I’m a foster mom for a Rhinoceros, Orang Utan and cats in neighborhood. A relative was once asked me, “Why do you donate for those animals? They are animals, you should help people in need” Here is my answer, “First, I work to get my own money and I responsible for it and it is not yours. People help other people but who would help animals in need? They are creatures as well just like you and me. It is better for me to help animals and visit them regularly than I have to spend some money for hedonistic things”.

9. I accept the truth that I speak with dialect

I am Javanese and when I speak Bahasa Indonesia or English I still have that Javanese dialect that sounds funny to some people in Jakarta. They will ask me, “Do you come from Java?” Hey hey, don’t you know that Jakarta is a part of Java? I think I don’t have the urge to remove my Javanese dialect while I’m speaking. I’m proud of it. The most important thing in communication is not about your dialect, but it is about your paradigm, about how your point of view on something and it’s not related to someone’s dialect.

10. I accept the truth that I’m a book worm

I love books. I surround myself with books and my dream house would involve a library. I am nearsighted with minus 6.5. When they know that I have a degree of myopia, people will suggest me to stop reading. Oh, is it a blessing or a curse how people put a lot of attention about my eyes. Thanks for that, but I would not stop reading.

Why should we care about what people say about ourselves? It is our life. Whether you are skinny or you have curved body, you are still beautiful as long as take a good care of your health. Life is hard and making enemy within yourself only makes your life difficult.

Love your body, listen to what people say, but don’t let those words get into you. People are free to judge but it is your responsibility to defend make yourself feel good.

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