One week after new year. I feel like I have no burden in my life. I feel really numb. I didnt take any medication anymore, but I dont know why I just feel sadness is only temporary, and so is happiness. So, why bother?
1. Work seems easy (even though it is actually killing me with deadline and ‘interesting’ people). But, I dont mind. I’m tired of course. But I believe that hard work pays off. Which means, I dont mind to spend hours to finish this interesting assignment because I like doing this and I would get so much knowledge. The best part is that, I work or I do this for myself/ for my own good in the future, not for the client or the company I’m working for.
Yesterday, I was really sad. Feel like I did this all alone, and my team seems too busy with their own reports and it was difficult to set time for meeting. They talked a lot and sometimes none of the business to solve the problem. Sometimes, I have to finish their shits. Then, there was someone said “Oh, D, so you spent hours for this project? Are you trying to set good hard working image to yourself? Therefore they could see you?” — OH MY GOD! What the HELL she said?
Setting image is not in my list, not even in my mind. I did this pure for myself. I hate this. There was like a thunderbolt stroke through my heart, but hey, I didnt feel broken. I feel like I was supported by some kind of spiritual feeling that everything will be fine in the end 🙂
2. Actually I am still in contact with boyfriend. He broke my heart. Of course you knew that. But, it doesnt matter anymore. I have the feeling that if we are meant to be together, then that day will come. I dont need to pursue him or make a hard effort that he could be with me. No. I dont even jealous when he spent time with other girls. Maybe because I started to have a relationship with someone as well.
anyway, whatever it is. One week after new year has been awesome! Ciao!